What makes a friend?

Hello dearest friends,

It’s been awhile since we have updated since I went on an excursion to Asia! But now we’re back and ready to go! In the West Coast, Mr. Sun has arrived and it looks like he is here to stay. We’re totally psyched about this because summer always promises endless fun and memories. Today, we are taking inspiration from Soul Pancake’s experiment but instead of a guy and a girl, as intended, this self-reflective game works equally as well for any pair of friends.

Most of us are constantly thinking about whether our friends fit our standards and emotional needs, but what about your friend? What do they need? Can you answer that right off the bat? This is a chance for you to openly discuss your friendship with your same-sex or opposite sex friends. Find out what your friend loves about you and what you love about your friend!

You may want to watch this video from The Science of Love series from Soul Pancake to set up the context (:



  1. A friend or significant other or family member
  2. Scissors
  3. A printer
  4. An open heart, get ready to chat and discuss! (the best part of the activity)


  1. Start off with 60 traits that may be valuable in a friend.
  2. Pick 15 traits you think a good friend should have.
  3. Pick 15 traits you think your partner needs in a friend.
  4. Compare and look for commonalities or correct guesses!


A better understanding of those in your life.

There are two categories, expectations and necessities.

  • Expectations are what you expect out of a friend.
  • Necessities are what you think your friend needs from you.



There were 60 traits to cut out!

There were 60 traits to cut out!

Snip snip snip

Snip snip snip

The qualities you both picked shows what we think the other person needs and what they actually need. The traits you pick for your friend are probably areas you excel in! 🙂


Some questions we asked each other at the end:

  • Which traits stood out the most for you when picking out what the other person needs from the friendship? Why?
  • Look at overlapping traits and also the unexpected ones!



Download the printable PDF here:



Eunice + Ivy



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